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I wont give up....

Thank you Jason Mraz - your song is my mantra right now. I Won't Give Up" Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmm ... When I look into your eyes It's like watching the night sky Or a beautiful sunrise There's so much they hold And just like them old stars I see that you've come so far To be right where you are How old is your soul? I won't give up on us Even if the skies get rough I'm giving you all my love I'm still looking up And when you're needing your space To do some navigating I'll be here patiently waiting To see what you find 'Cause even the stars they burn Some even fall to the earth We've got a lot to learn God knows we're worth it No, I won't give up I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not And who I am I won't give up on us Even if the skies get rough I'm giving you all my love I'm still looking up Still looking up. I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up) God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved) We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved) God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it) I won't give up on us Even if the skies get rough I'm giving you all my love I'm still looking up

I am woman, hear me roar!

I finally stood up to J yesterday and I’m still like “wtf?”

Background:

Last weekend was his weekend, but my dad wanted to take the girls to the Smurfs on Sunday – So I called on Monday to ask what his plans were so I would know what time to book the tickets.

I get told he is going away and is only getting back on Saturday – but will confirm by Wednesday if he is fetching the girls on Saturday OR Sunday

(Like he doesn’t have enough weekends to go away!)

So I say “can’t you take them next weekend for the whole weekend then?” He tells me no, its Month end he has stuff to do.

Anyway – weekend comes and goes – no phone calls no Jason.

He calls me last night, says “I have nothing on tomorrow night can I pick the girls up from school and drop them off on Saturday”

I said no, that he said he wasn’t taking the girls this weekend so I made plans for us – so then he says I can pick them up early then.


I still said no! I won’t allow him to treat the girls like they are “hobbies” that he does when he has nothing else to do!

I told him he either takes them for a full weekend when he is meant too or he doesn’t take them at all.

So he asked “what must I do if my friends have their birthday parties, I can’t ask them to move their birthday’s”

so I said well in that case Jase you made your choice and it wasn’t the girls!

I mean ffs I can’t pick and choose when I have the girls?

He is living the flippen high life, acting like a teenager with his jolling and the girls must just “slot in” when he has nothing on?

No ways. Not on my watch. I would rather he never see the girls then see them like that!

As it is Lem doesn’t want to go there anyway anymore because of how he has been threatening her – she is terrified he pitches up there today – but I’ve informed the school (again) not to let him fetch them unless I say so.


Then of course I had to listen to him go on about how he is a better father in one day then I am a mother in a whole month, how I do nothing for the girls other then “routine” stuff and how he has always said he will take the girls full time (please he wouldn’t last a week!)


My girls are NOT a hobby and I wont allow him to treat them like that. He can take me to court if he wants. I'll even drive him there myself!

Let it go.....

I've been struggling with a few personal issues the last while.....hence my reason for being so quiet. I've been trying to make sense of it all before putting pen to paper....and to be honest not much of it makes any more sense then it did to start with. Issues with my children, the Ex and my future....At this stage I am ready just to throw my hands in the air and walk away and let the chips fall where they may.

I received this via email a few days ago....its not new, in fact I have read it many many times over the last few years but the impact is still the same. I find it a very powerful piece of writing, and can be applied to almost every aspect of ones life.

Let it go ...by T. D. Jakes


There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this!

When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,

loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you,

staying attached to you.

I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.

Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you.

And if they are not joined to you,

you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person,

it just means that their part in the story is over.

And you've got to know when people's

part in your story is over so that you

don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something.

I've got the gift of good-bye.

It's the tenth spiritual gift,

I believe in good-bye.

It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful,

and I know whatever God means for me to have

He'll give it to me.

And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.

Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something

that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life,

then you need to LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ..

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge ..

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or

talents ..

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude...

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new

level in Him...

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help

themselves..

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ....

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling

yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to...

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past.

Forget the former things.

GOD is doing a new thing for you !!!

LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left . think about it, and then

LET IT GO!!!

Wow things have taken off!!!

I posted about the work that Lem and I are going to be doing at Ikholwa...Well Nicci read my post and was inspired to start a project she has wanted to do for a while..and thats a community garden project :)
So thanks to her partner we have a piece of ground on which to farm organically grown veggies for the home as well as the seeds - and will be getting the children involved too so as to nurture and encourage important life skills.

Thanks to the Warren at The Garden Shop Bryanston who have sponsored us hand forks for the children to use while growing thier veggies :)

Then Laura chose Ikholwa as her home for which to host a Christmas Party this year.
We have set a date - the 10th December 2011 - so this is where I ask for you to remember those less fortunate and to assist in the following areas :

You can donate R100 or whatever you can afford towards a gift and food.
You can buy a gift (a child will be assigned to you - max R100)
You can buy some party food.
You can buy a gift AND some party food.
You can help out on the day

We would also like to possibly have a jumping castle for the children - so a donation of this would be so amazing!

So please, email myself (tanya@enchantedcharms.co.za) or contact Laura and lets give these precious children a Christmas to remember!

Lem and her Guitar

Ever since Jeanette invited me to attend her workshop I have had this idea in my head for photos I wanted to take of Lem.

On Saturday I bought her a new guitar and as we had nothing planned for the afternoon I decided that it was the perfect oppurtunity :)

I was going for the moody / indie look lol. Lem is the queen of sulk so it was quite easy to get the look I was going for :)

This is my favourite!

Time to Give Back

I have been involved in a number of charitable projects over the last few years, but have always wanted to be more involved - to spend a bit more of my time helping those less fortunate then I.I have also had so much help over the last year that I felt I needed to give a little back.

It was a couple of weeks ago that I had a whack load of the girls older clothing to give away that I tweeted Jeanette to ask if she knew where I could donate them, she suggested Ikholwa - which is not to far from where we live.

When I got there - I cant explain how I felt. It may sound crazy when I say the home spoke to me, but it really did. I felt this was where I was needed...gosh that does sound nuts :)
Anyway I contacted them and went for my interview and I am free to start volunteering as and when I wish.

They have children from babies to teens and all the children are there for different reasons, but I have chosen to work with the toddlers.

After speaking to the House Mother I decided that I will get Lem involved too. I think it would be an awesome Mother/Daughter activity for us - and I think she could learn a lot from the experience.

I honestly cant wait to get started :) The best part is once you are known and trusted by the home you are able to take children for the weekend / day trips. That will so amazing! And then there is always the chance to adopt a child as well.

I may use my blog from time to time to request help for the Ikholwa in the form of material donations as from what I now understand the funding is very limited and it does take a lot to run these homes - even the school fees need to be paid from the home itself. I thought they would get a concession but they dont.