A picture post of my weekend away :)

Hope you guys dont mind loads of pics :) :)

My brother, dad and myself went to the Eastern Transvaal last weekend to scatter my moms ashes as she told us many many times.

We stayed here . I loved it so much I've booked for the Easter Holidays :)

There's lots of pics..I really couldn't decide which to post..so..ummm..*blush* here are all my faves!


We had to drive over this river to get to town. It was raining heavily and the bridge is level with the river..it has *storm drains* on either side. It was scary for me lol

Fabian and I preparing dinner.

Aiiii....Braaing (barbecueing) in the rain!

The spot where we laid my mom's ashes to rest. That fence is the Kruger park fence with the Crocodile river below. It was the perfect, perfect spot! Fabian and I actually got out the car to follow the hippo that was walking on the bank so I could photograph him...and we came alone this rocky outcrop.

One of my best pics ever!

The Hippo as mentioned previously. Gosh I love this place. To see wildlife like this..so close! its unbelievable!

My mom used to own this piece of ground many years ago..and sold it when they were in some financial difficulties. It was probably the biggest mistake her and my dad made....ever!

the piece of ground my dad used to own. Same story as my moms. Very sad actually. This house and the ground is now for sale..Fabian and I are talking about buying it back. (at almost 12 times what my dad sold it to this guy for!)



Flip this funny..on the Friday night Fabian and I had had one too many drinks..heheheh...and he screamed at me to quickly grab my camera as a Lion was circling our house!!! pmsl.

A momento I bought of the trip :)

Thanks so much for sharing this with me....I feel very much at peace now. I still miss my mom....terribly...but I feel very calm and proud knowing I was able to do exactly what she should have wanted!

Happy Birthday Mommy

Mom today would have been your 70th birthday.
We had such an amazing trip planned for you to Cape Town as you had never been.
you were so excited, not only for Cape Town but for all of us being on holiday as a family. We haven't done that for over 10 years since Fabian left the country.

Instead we are going to the Eastern Transvaal to scatter your ashes. Mom I am so honoured to be able to fulfill your final wish.

Mommy I miss you so much. I miss your giggle. I miss you calling me to moan about how much dad is annoying you (which I FINALLY get btw! lol). I miss your cooking. I miss you helping me with sewing. I miss you when my girls are sick as you are the first one I always used to call. I miss you when I have had trouble at home as you always knew the right things to say..without interfering. I miss just being able to call for no reason. I miss your sense of humour.

Mom I look as this photo of you on your last birthday and my heart pains . It pains for me. It pains for dad. It pains that you won't see my girls grow up. It pains that you will never share another birthday, christmas or New Years. It pains that I will never hear your voice again.

Mom I so hope that you are at peace where you are.

Until we meet again Mom,
Love always!

Some Family Pics

My brother and his girlfriend and some of her family flew in from Australia yesterday morning. My brothers g/f and her family are from NZ - while Megan has been here before her family haven't.

We went to Carnivores for dinner.

The reason for their visit is they had planned a five day stay in Cape town leaving on Friday...it was supposed to have been for my moms 70th birthday celebration. they are staying an extra 3 weeks driving up along the coast, my brother comes back next week Wednesday so we can fulfill my moms last wish of her ashes being scattered in the Eastern Transvaal.
He then leaves back to Oz on the Sunday again :(

Having my brother here has been an absolute blessing to me. Like a breath of fresh air. He really is almost my other half and the thought of him leaving me again is very sad. No one gets me like he does. No one understands me like he does.

Here are some pics of the evening :)

Fabian clowning around :) Carnivores are renowned for thier game meat..and this is how it is served. They keep coming around with different meats (crocodile, different buck, ostrich etc and your normal beef, pork chicken). The salads etc are on the table.





Fabian and my dad. I must post a comparison pic. You wont believe how tired, old and thin my dad has got! He is literally wasting away!


My brothers girlfriend, Megan and I.



Lastly, Fabian and I :)



UPDATE ON THE ASHES ISSUE

My dad called me this morning and said my brother spoke to him and he has decided to take all my moms ashes to the Eastern Transvaal (thanks Dad, so I'm chopped liver??). Anyway he did this without anyone at the Church seeing. So, he is STILL going ahead with the blessing (if they know the ashes are gone they wont do it as there is nothing to bless). I told him to leave the blessing, the only thing we need to make sure happens is that my moms ashes land up where she wanted them. But nope....the man won't listen *sigh*.

Seriously annoyed - but should I be?

I'm really annoyed with my dad though as I think he is being so selfish! I know I have shared a lot of what has been going on with him but I need to know if I am being unreasonable being upset?

My mom was never a religious person as such..ok she went to a convent but after she left she never went to church or even really lived as a practising Catholic. She actually didn’t have much liking for church at all due to her experiences at the convent.

Her wish was always that her ashes be spread over the Eastern Transvaal. ALL of them. My brother arrives home tomorrow and next week myself, my dad and my brother are going to fulfil her last wish.

Now my dad has put up a memorial plaque up at the church for her - there is a space for him too one day. Now fair enough I don’t have a problem with that.

My problem is that my dad has had half my moms ashes put there and the other half we are taking with us. My mom would NOT have wanted that! She wanted ALL her ashes over the ET..not to be split up.
And in my mind I don't feel your soul can truly rest should your body be split up?

My aunt, brother and myself mentioned this to my dad and he said Ok fine, we'll take them all. Now he phones and says he has spoken to the priest and he said its ok to leave them as they are - he has arranged a "blessing" of my moms ashes for the day we get back and my dad has invited all and sundry to the blessing and then to have tea afterwards

So my issues are no 1 that he has split her ashes and 2. that the blessing should be a private family affair not a bl@ddy circus - but my dad has always been one for pomp and ceremony anyway and I suppose the more people there the more people to feel sorry for him. I know my mom would kick his arse right now if she could!

Doing what I love

Anyone that knows me well knows I have a passion for beading. Specifically Jewelery.

Each of my friends have got at least one beaded item from me as a gift and I like to match the piece to the person :)

For the last few months I have had no motivation at all to make anything. I've looked at my beads but then just as quickly packed them away.

Last week a mom on a parenting forum I frequent asked me if I could make her a bracelet similar to what I made her a few years ago as she has since had another child so needed his name added too.

Its been my dream to be a Work-at-Home mom earning my living from my beading. I cant think of anything better then being surrounded by my pretty colourful beads all day creating unique pieces :)

I have been wanting to start a website for ages.....I think the motivation may slowly be creeping back :)

Here is a pic of the finished piece lol I just couldn't get the letters to sit up straight :)

So my decision has been made for me..

One of the biggest factors around me moving in with my dad was Lem's schooling.
There are four schools in the area - the two my dad are zoned for are honestly cr@ppy. The one is the primary school I went to, but a LOT has changed and its now one of the worst in the area.

The 2nd is a Dual Medium school... But walking around the school I didnt feel very confident in sending Lem there. The buildings arent well maintained, nor are the grounds. The classrooms are also dark and dingy. I didnt like it at all.

The other two we are not zoned for - they are both excellent but I did favour the one over the other. I applied to the Dual medium and the two we are not zoned for. She was accepted into the dual medium, but not to the other two as they are full already with people in Zone A (the feeder area).

So - the question is do I risk Lem's education at a school that isnt half as good as the one she is in now for my dads happiness?
My answer is no. I only have once chance at Lem getting a good education. There are no second chances - so for now I will not be moving.

My dads friend told him that we should "just put Lem into a private school". Sure bud, if you are paying! And he also doesnt realise the waiting lists that the private schools have!

My dad is not happy with me not moving there though, he was all miserable and stuff today, but honestly..what does he expect me to do?
I'm sorry but I will not risk my childrens education (or anything else) for anyone.

I told him that J and I were looking at houses around here with cottages - so he could move in with us. He went on about having to sell all his stuff and getting below market prices for it (specifically the 5 cars that are just standing there) So I told him that if he wants to be in that big house alone, with all his "stuff" - then so be it. It's his choice but then he must stop crying about it.