Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I'll help you....but..!

Since my divorce (actually prior to) my financial status has been anything but satisfactory. My ex stopped any form of financial support a month or two before my divorce and then after the divorce for about 3 months or so until I got a garnishee order in place I never recieved anything. Now he earns 6 x what I do - my expenses did not drop just because he moved out - so I am sure you can imagine what kind of damage going those 6 months without any support from him did to me financially.

I am still in a very precarious situation - I owe money almost everywhere, lol. I do not answer my cell if it is an unknown number. I am still a few thousand short every month to meet my most basic commitments. lol I am robbing Peter to pay Paul right now lol.

I have sold almost everything I can. My Orbitrek excercise machine, my sewing machine, books, and just this morning my gorgeous 8 seater dining room suite.

There have however been a few people that have done so much to help me that I am forever grateful for. I am truly truly blessed to have people like this in my life.

* My dad - he has given me what he can when he can - no conditions.

* I had a good friend that paid my girls school fee's in January because I could not due to me not having recieved rental on my other property and I had to pay the full bond - no conditions.

* I cancelled Lemon's birthday party last year because I just could not afford it. A friend of mine that I know from an online Mom's forum (I have probably only physically ever seen her once or twice) sent me enough money to pay for her entire party. No conditions.

* I was speaking to my best friend a few days before Saige's birthday two weeks ago telling her how dissapointed I was that I just couldnt afford to get Saige what she REALLY wanted for her birthday, a bike. This friend went and bought Saige a bike. Just like that. When she is a single mom too and battling as much as I am. No conditions.

* Friend 3 and 4 above are bringing some snacks along to Saige's birthday party on Saturday. In fact I have had a few offers. No conditions.

Now the reason I put "no conditions" behind all the above is because I have had an offer of help. From someone I never thought would put any conditions behind wanting to help me.

My brother.

Yes, he has arrived and it is wonderful having him home for a bit BUT....

A few weeks ago he asked me how I was doing financially. I said "shit" . lol. So he asked me to send him my budget - which I did because I thought maybe he could see some ways to cut down that I couldnt?

He then said he can "help" me with some cash to meet some of my arrear payments..WITH CONDITIONS.
I need to prove that what I am paying for Saige's schooling is the "cheapest" (its actually bang on average) and I need to prove my levy payments and I have to explain why there's a special levy for the complex, cancel my home phone (which I did anyway) and so on and so on.

My brother does not have kids, he has NO idea what is involved in looking after them.
I am not going to go through the rest of the list but the decision I have made is he can keep his money.

Please dont think I expect hand outs, believe me I dont. In fact quite the contrary. I'm just a bit upset that friends have helped me like they have with "no conditions" but he is.

I dont know whether I am just being sensitve about this, but considering the help I have had from people outside of my family with "no conditions" ....I was kind of expecting the same from family.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


My website is up and running :)

Its been up about 2 weeks but our ADSL line at home has been down so havent been able to do anything online :( WAY behind in my blog reading too but I will catch up asap!

It still needs some work - like an actual shopping basket but I am really struggling with the coding for that - just cant figure it out. But...I will :) :)

So here it is :) Enchanted Charms.Take a peek? And pls feel free to leave me a comment with any feedback or suggestions? More then anything I want this to work! lol.

TIA :)