Thursday, February 17, 2011

How honest do you really need to be?

A question was raised on a Mommy forum I chat on - although the scenario surrounding the question was different, the question still applies to me.

How honest do you really need to be with your children? How much "glossing" over do you really need to be to protect them from the "nasties" of grown up life?

Since the divorce this is an issue I have struggled with a great deal. There have been many times I have wanted to tell Lem EXACTLY what her dad is doing / has done - but then I think to myself that he is still her dad, her hero. Don't tarnish that image that she has of him. He deserves that respect.

Or does he?

Right now he is in Cape Town for a week to see the U2 Concert. He took Lem last week to the Johannesburg show as well.
I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy that he is seeing them twice, once in a another city and I couldnt afford to see them once.
It was due to this jealousy that him and I had a huge argument on Monday night, as he got Lemon home at 1.30am Monday morning - he said he didnt want to keep her with him as he was going to work. So we all have a really long day on Monday only having got to bed at 1.30 - and he slept till after lunch!
The result of our argument was that he was leaving. He was going to work in Zambia as a missionary earning peanuts as he cant "take me and my shit" anymore.

I wish I had a "rolly eyes" icon. Better yet I wish I had R1 for everytime he has threatened that. Everything that he has now is what he asked for.
He wanted to be alone as he would be so much happier without me.

So he has requested that I now think of him as dead. He wants nothing more to do with me (which means the kids too incase he doesnt realise) and we must have a happy life.
Till when?
Till he decides to one day play dad again?
He does not realise what he is doing to these kids! As much as I respect that he is the father of my children (note - I didnt say I respected him) that brings me back to my original question -

How honest do I reallly need to be?

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Got some FAB news today!!

Finally a bit of happy!! :) :)

My brother, who lives in Perth, will be here for a week at the end of March!!! Eeeeeeek I am so excited!!!!

I was chatting to his girlfriend today and she said "I am sure you are thrilled to have him home for a bit" - I was like "whaaaat" ?? Bbm'd him and yup = he will be here March 25th :)

I haven't seen him since November 2009 when we scattered my moms ashes.. Last year was probably the toughest year of my life with the divorce and custody case and everything else - I so badly wanted him here to help me through it....Although he is my baby brother he has, in the last few years, been my rock. The voice of reason amidst the craziness and emotion.

And the best part is he will be here for Saige's 3rd birthday party :) He has only ever been to one of my kids birthday parties and that was Lem's third.

Cant wait for you to be here Boetie!!!!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

It's the little things....

We were watching Knight and Day this evening (Diaz and Cruise) and Cameron Diaz was given a truth serum and was talking about Knight (Cruise) and how its the little things he does that are so special. Amidst my giggling (she's really quirky) I got thinking about it. And that is so true.

Next Friday is mine and P's first anniversary of when we met. I can't believe its been a year...and we are still so comfortable and at ease with each other...its natural?

I'm quite happy to admit I have found my soulmate.
And I love him as much now as I did when I first fell in love. Why?

It could be because our birthday is on the same day....because we are so alike and we know each other as we know ourselves.


Its the little things.

Its when he wakes up before me in the morning and makes me coffee and (if early enough) runs me a bath - and he wakes me with a kiss and a backrub :)
Its making the kids breakfast, every morning.
Its when he helps get the girls ready for school....tag team :)
Its when he spends hours cleaning my car, inside and out.
Its making sure I have a cup of coffee every morning in my travel mug for my drive to work.
Its bringing me a cup of coffee for the drive home when he fetches me from work.
Its when he wakes up early on weekends with the girls and lets me sleep in.
Its when he scrubs my back every night when I have a bath :)
Its when he washes the dishes every night.
Its when he sits with Lem every night practising her guitar chords.
Its when he pops out to the shop at 10pm because I forgot to buy smokes on the way home.

All of these cost nothing...but time. And that is one thing he is willing to give 100% me.
And to my girls.

We really are a team. And a dam good one. I'm still trying to get used to it - I never had anyone give as much time and be so willing to help before.

But I like it :) And I love him for it :)