A question was raised on a Mommy forum I chat on - although the scenario surrounding the question was different, the question still applies to me.
How honest do you really need to be with your children? How much "glossing" over do you really need to be to protect them from the "nasties" of grown up life?
Since the divorce this is an issue I have struggled with a great deal. There have been many times I have wanted to tell Lem EXACTLY what her dad is doing / has done - but then I think to myself that he is still her dad, her hero. Don't tarnish that image that she has of him. He deserves that respect.
Or does he?
Right now he is in Cape Town for a week to see the U2 Concert. He took Lem last week to the Johannesburg show as well.
I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy that he is seeing them twice, once in a another city and I couldnt afford to see them once.
It was due to this jealousy that him and I had a huge argument on Monday night, as he got Lemon home at 1.30am Monday morning - he said he didnt want to keep her with him as he was going to work. So we all have a really long day on Monday only having got to bed at 1.30 - and he slept till after lunch!
The result of our argument was that he was leaving. He was going to work in Zambia as a missionary earning peanuts as he cant "take me and my shit" anymore.
I wish I had a "rolly eyes" icon. Better yet I wish I had R1 for everytime he has threatened that. Everything that he has now is what he asked for.
He wanted to be alone as he would be so much happier without me.
So he has requested that I now think of him as dead. He wants nothing more to do with me (which means the kids too incase he doesnt realise) and we must have a happy life.
Till he decides to one day play dad again?
He does not realise what he is doing to these kids! As much as I respect that he is the father of my children (note - I didnt say I respected him) that brings me back to my original question -
How honest do I reallly need to be?