I'm been toying with the idea of going to therapy.
I have issues, lol. I'm not quite right in the head. I've had a lot happen to me over the last few years that I havent fully dealt with.
The first couple of years of mine and my hubby's relationship was something I should have walked away from. I was abused..physically, emotionally and verbally. I have countless scars..not all physical and I am clinging on to all this baggage that effects how I interact with him now. I can't bear being close to him physically nor do I care much for interacting with him on any level really.
He has really been trying hard and he gets pushed away at every turn. I will probably lose him and land up regretting it and will only have myself to blame.
I had a best friend that dumped me and everything "seems" to be perfect in her life..lol she is going on like I never existed and I'm sitting like a puppy pining for its owner.
I found my blood brother on FB (I was adopted at birth) - made contact. He has now dissapeared. He's no longer on FB nor does he reply to my emails.
I fear my daughters are going to grow up with not many fond memories of me..but rather of me as this bad tempered screaming mad woman.
I am not in a happy place right now and normally I can hide it..but this time round I can't. I just want to be left alone..by my children..by my husband..by everyone.