Monday, October 5, 2009

Where we are a week later...

I am totally exhausted if I must be honest. Running two homes is not the easiest...I haven't had a weekend to myself in months now. I feel bad complaining but right now I would kill just for one weekend where I didnt have to do laundry, cooking and cleaning in two homes.

My dad is still pressurising me about moving in there. J is still saying NO. So, I am still the meat in the sandwich and quite honestly I have no idea what to do. My heart and my head are having a fight again..lol they do this quite often.

If I could choose? I wouldnt be with either of them.

My dad started counselling today with a lady I found - she seems pretty good. I chatted to her on email a bit before my dad went to see her today. Although I had suggested to my dad two weeks ago he go see someone..he said No. His best friend AND sister suggested it, he said NO> My brother calls and suggested it - he says to me "Your brother speaks a lot of sense, he suggested I go see someone so I will" *rolls eyes* lol.

He is still not doing well at all. He calls me 6/8/10 times a day in tears because something reminded him of my mom. When I am at his house on the weekends he cries constantly and keeps saying he can't live on his own. A part of me wants to shake him and tell him that he CAN do it, that he needs to stop thinking he can't - but hopefully the therapist will help him with that.

I know my blog has been about nothing else over the last two months, but quite frankly there is nothing else going on right now that I can blog about..lol. Hopefully that will change soon!

7 comments:

Corey~living and loving said...

Thinking of you, Tanya! I'm so glad your dad is getting some help.

Jenty said...

Really hope the therapist drills some sense into him!

Gillian said...

Its sounds all consumed and exhausting. Hang in there. Don't worry about your blog. We know that you're pre-occupied with your family and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. We'd all do the same.

mywindowsill said...

a week later and things are better, i really pray that each weeks brings a little more calm and a little more healing - and that by the time it is the end of the year you can make a decision for you and the kids with less pressure

it is a horrible cliche but time is a big part of healing and grieving....

xxx

Cheryl McCree said...

Sounds exhausting. I hope that you do get a bit of time for yourself soon. You need it as well.

Wenchy said...

These emotions truly takes time to deal with .... hang in there. xxx

angel said...

Aaaw Tanya... big hugs girl!