Can you believe its been a whole week since I made one of the biggest decisions I have made in years.
To say this week has been tumultuous is an undestatement. I have been wrestling with my decision constantly. And my decision has been wrestling back!
J has asked that we try again.
For 6 months.
I am torn right now.
Last week Friday my head and my heart were in total agreement. For once. For once they both agreed on what was the next step forward.
Now after yesterday they are once again at war.
Last week I was so clear on what had to be done and had totally made peace with my decision, so much so that anyone who meant anyone to me knew what my plans were..as those same people had been there to pick up the pieces on more then one occasion.
He says he NOW knows what he did all those times was wrong. My head says surely you should KNOW that punching your wife in the face isn't right? Regardless of the argument you had and regardless of what was said in that argument?
Surely it shouldnt take a protection order to make you see that?
I feel that if I DON'T give it a another try I'll be a quitter.
I feel that if I DO give it a try I'm a push over and it won't take long for me to be in this exact same position again.
As I said, heart and head are at war again.
I honestly don't know what to do.