Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Seriously annoyed - but should I be?

I'm really annoyed with my dad though as I think he is being so selfish! I know I have shared a lot of what has been going on with him but I need to know if I am being unreasonable being upset?

My mom was never a religious person as such..ok she went to a convent but after she left she never went to church or even really lived as a practising Catholic. She actually didn’t have much liking for church at all due to her experiences at the convent.

Her wish was always that her ashes be spread over the Eastern Transvaal. ALL of them. My brother arrives home tomorrow and next week myself, my dad and my brother are going to fulfil her last wish.

Now my dad has put up a memorial plaque up at the church for her - there is a space for him too one day. Now fair enough I don’t have a problem with that.

My problem is that my dad has had half my moms ashes put there and the other half we are taking with us. My mom would NOT have wanted that! She wanted ALL her ashes over the ET..not to be split up.
And in my mind I don't feel your soul can truly rest should your body be split up?

My aunt, brother and myself mentioned this to my dad and he said Ok fine, we'll take them all. Now he phones and says he has spoken to the priest and he said its ok to leave them as they are - he has arranged a "blessing" of my moms ashes for the day we get back and my dad has invited all and sundry to the blessing and then to have tea afterwards

So my issues are no 1 that he has split her ashes and 2. that the blessing should be a private family affair not a bl@ddy circus - but my dad has always been one for pomp and ceremony anyway and I suppose the more people there the more people to feel sorry for him. I know my mom would kick his arse right now if she could!

3 comments:

Jenty said...

I'd be annoyed too! OMW the thought of splitting ashes it jsut terrible... what part of her is where?

Wenchy said...

This would piss me off endless. Please make sure nobody seperates my bits okay???

I'll give you all a small haunting.

angel said...

Hhmmm... that can make it rough- but perhaps having a blessing ceremony is a way for your dad to move on?