Sunday, August 16, 2009

So I'm home alone...

well with the thats it.

J left for Cape Town today for 8 days and I must admit it is a VERY welcome break!
It was just getting too much for both of us !

J is still telling me I am making a mistake and making me out to be the bad guy in all this. That "I" am ripping the family apart. I have confidence in the fact that in time he will see it as the right thing to have done. Well actually right now I don't think I really care! lol

An update re me moving in with a friend..those plans have been shelved as quite honestly it's not going to work. I appreciate the offer by my friend but she inadvertantly sent me an email meant for another friend and after reading her true feelings on it I made my decision.

I really appreciated her offer but our friendship wouldn't withstand us living together. And I value that much more.

My mom is still in ICU - the pneumonia has still not cleared up - and her lower legs are swollen to 4 times thier normal size! I'm not actually sure why - will ask my dad tomorrow.

Thats the ONE...only ONE bum thing about J being away this week...I won't be able to go see my mom until the weekend as there is on one to watch the girls.

I started taking a bit of strain these last few days and I had I suppose what you could call a mini-meltdown last night.

I just started crying and kept on crying..I couldn't stop. I'm trying to be strong for my girls right now..trying to be strong for my dad and with the constant bickering with J it all just got a bit too much.

I just feel very alone? Maybe thats a bit harsh as I do have LOADS of people supporting me right now and without them I would be nothing right now....

But you know sometimes you just need a hug and for someone to tell you its all going to be ok!


Jenty said...

Glad he's gone away for a while. Sorry it wouldn't have worked out with the friend, that's a pity, but I can well understand the risk to the friendship.
(((HUGS))) hang in there, it has to get better!

totally cooked said...

enjoy the peace and quiet ... That's what life will be like in the future. Surely he should move out and leave the kids family home intact?

Gillian said...

Strongs! *hugglez*.

Hope you mum gets better soon. I am a wee bit far from you but if you need a babysitter to go and see her, I'm here.

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

wow, this is quite a change from the hibiscus post i read the other day.

it's good that you've made your decision. making a firm decision is one of the only solid things worth holding on to in times like these. that and your children. stay strong for them. and for you.

thinking of you.


Tanja said...

Enjoy the time alone to reflect and regroup. Hope you can manage something to see your Mom though.