Thursday, December 3, 2009

Am I losing my mind??

So once again things at home are not that great.

Last week Thursday J and I have a huge argument on the way to work. He tells me he's had enough, he wants out and I need to call my lawyer.
After I drop him off I was speaking to my mom, asking her what I should do. Wishing she was here as she was so great to speak to.
Not even 20 mins after I get to work my lawyer calls. Now I havent spoken to my lawyer since my mom went into hospital. He says he wants to draw up the summons..what must he do?
I honestly took that as a sign?

So it all ends up with J packing his stuff on Saturday and telling me he is leaving by the end of this week.
I dont cry
I dont beg
I dont plead
The only thing I ask is that he allows me to please keep the house as rental anywhere else will be more or less the same....and at least the girls won't be uprooted too much.
He says I can keep the house, but if I buy it at market value? So bang goes that idea as I honestly wont be able to afford that. So I will have to rent somewhere.

Then this is where I question my sanity.
He can not understand why I am wanting to leave him.
Why I am wanting to "destroy" the girls lives, mine and his by getting a divorce.
He says that I am the reason for the breakdown of our marriage and that I have a chip on my shoulder that prevents me from being happy.
I think back over what I have had to put up with...what I have been through..and I can't fathom how on earth he feels justified having treated me like he has? Surely its not normal?

Those that have read here regularly will know what I have had to put up with, honestly.....surely I'm not the crazy one??


Tanya, Jay and Isabella Sage said...

You dont want an answer to that and you dont want opinions on it. You're asking for them but a week or two down the line the situation will have changed and you'll be upset that your friends are being less than supportive. You need to speak to a counsellor - someone who can listen to you and help you decide what you want without needing to support the decision you make afterward.

mywindowsill said...

I understand the place you are in when so many thoughts and feelings are racing around in your head. I would also keep talking to you mom, she may not "answer" but you may be able to get a lot of these thoughts into words and in the end find some direction.

I'd also pray for wisdom and peace.

Strength to you - I know how alone you feel. xxxx

Jenty said...

((HUGS)) I don't have an answer for you I'm afraid

Wenchy said...

Absusive people with low self esteem always blame the other person when usually fault lies in both parties.

You are unhappy, change it.

PS. Btw, there is allot of negotiations in a divorce. He doesn't get to just say how it will be. Let your attorney guide you.